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by ゆぴな

You guys really don’t understand the level of intense affection I have for this trio and how hilarious they would be. Peony is the greatest cheerful dick and fandom’s lack of doing anything with his friendship with Dist depresses me. Well, okay. Peony considers it friendship, while Dist is like FUCK THAT FUCKING FUCKER I HATE HIM DIE IN A FIRE STOP NAMING RAPPIGS AFTER US EVEN NEPHRY TOTALLY AGREES IT’S WEIRD YOU FUCKER NO I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE THE EMPEROR FUCK YOU. While Peony is like, You are the cutest! Let me hug you! because it’s hilarious to watch Saphir pitch a fit.

But also I have this whole thing about how Peony is actually a smart Emperor, he knows how to get shit done, of course he would want Dist working for them, because he might be batshit and trying very hard to be evil, but he’s still a ridiculous level genius and he’s still that same adorable, hilarious Saphir. And then he could just HEY JADE GUESS WHAT I’M GOING TO MAKE YOU DO and Jade will smile politely and be like NO. ^__^

Peony smiles back and says, you don’t get a vote. ^__^ Now go babysit Saphir for me and make sure he gets lots of work done. Jade points out, you know, even if Saphir is smarter than most, he’s still not as smart as me, and he will only slow me down. You don’t want one of your most valuable scientists slowing down, do you? But Peony has faith in him! Meaning: I DON’T CARE, THIS IS WAY MORE HILARIOUS.

And then he drops by a lot to flirt with Saphir because it makes him raaaaage and Jade smiles a lot and simmers under the surface until eventually he’s like FINE, YOUR MAJESTY, I’LL FUCK HIM IF YOU’LL JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. Peony smiles and says, I just want you both to be happy. ^__^ Jade smiles and doesn’t buy his shit at all, while Dist kicks Peony.

And the Peony and Nephry get married and have lots of smooches and eventually babies and Jade glowers the entire time because, ugh, the Emperor is marrying his baby sister and he really doesn’t want to think about that.

UGH, SO MANY FEELS BOTTLED UP INSIDE ME.

This is probably the greatest thing I have ever read.